skinny

For the first time in my life, I am being called skinny.

On Monday, one of my students, Annie, came up to me and said, "Miss Laura, you are kinda skinny." Followed by, "My mom is a little bit fat." She just turned 5 years old (6 in Korean age). Usually, Koreans think that all foreigners are fat. I've had some very thin foreign friends complaining about their students calling them fat. Kids just say what they think, what they see. They don't sugar coat things. While I've been in Korea, I've always been told I have a small face, and the odd time I got some sort of reference to me being big.

I've always felt that being big boned is a curse. Since I was little I was generally referred to as being fat, even though it wasn't always so. My friends have often said I am not fat, but big.

Since last June, I've lost around 11 or 12 kg. I haven't tried to lose weight. I suppose the meds I'm on have something to do with it. Since I got sick and started taking anti-inflammatories and pain killers and such, I've lost a lot of my appetite. I do eat, but sometimes just plain forget to eat, as I don't often feel hungry. If I don't make myself eat, I forget. I eat way too much junk food, though. Choco pies and chocolates and sometimes chips. I'm not much of a cook. I guess I feel it is sort of a waste of time and energy to cook for only one person - in terms of time and the mess it makes. Not to mention the fact that everything is sold in large amounts, which is NOT good for one person. I am constantly having to throw food out. I hate it. It is so wasteful. As a result, I am often just eating things that take little or no effort. Cut up vegetables, peanut butter sandwiches, sometimes rice, etc. What ever.This is what losing 11 or so kg looks like. I bought these jeans in February last year, right before I came back to Korea. I set the belt at what I wore it at then. I have had to tighten it by 4 holes. I don't even undo the button or zipper on anything anymore. I don't need to. It is quite a problem really. Almost all of my clothes are so big on me that they look funny. And this is a bad country for that to happen in, as NOTHING fits. Korean clothes are small. The pants, if they do come in a big enough size, are always way too short (usually 30 inches long... I generally need 34 inches length). Shirts are too small in the chest area and long sleeves are about 3/4 length on me. Getting dressed is sometimes a chore as I get so stressed out about it. Almost everything in my closet now looks like crap on me.